Band Baaja Baaraat (2010)

January 2010: Pyaar Impossible! – aka Uday Chopra’s Face Impossible! Predictable geek-gets-girl rom-com plays like Shrek for the Bollywood-lovin’ junta; fails.

May 2010: Badmaash Company – aka Lol, Aditya Chopra, what you smokin’, bro? ‘Honesty is the best policy’ theme stretched thin [all 2.5 hours of it.] The climax: Hero saves the day by marketing defective t-shirts as Bleeding Madras – with Michael Jackson as brand ambassador. Film ends. Madras bleeds. With shame.

August 2010: Lafangey Parindey – aka it’s Rocky. No it’s Black. Wait – it’s Dirty Dancing. Neil Nitin Mukesh channels sadak-chaap, Munnabhai MBBS, etc; fails. Deepika Padukone tries to prove nobody puts Pinky in a corner; fails. Film’s as blind as her. Bland. I mean bland.

Right. So Yash Raj Films has obviously not had a good run this year. Gone are the days of Chandni, of [controversial yet sublime] Lamhe, of DDLJ or Dil To Pagal Hai. Sure, there have been a couple of hits in recent years [Chak De! India and the Dhoom franchise, for example] but it’s mostly gone downhill for Yash Chopra and co. since the new millennium. It was thus with practically zero expectations – and, post I Hate Luv Storys [But Not Really, As My Kitschy Film Will Testify] and Break Ke Baad [Waapis Cinema-Hall Mat Jaana] with mild hatred for the rom-com – that I sat down to watch YRF’s latest offering Band Baaja Baaraat.

The verdict: BBB turns out to be a pleasant surprise, and then some. This is possibly one of the most refreshing, honest, uncomplicated and believable films to come out of the Yash Raj camp in years. Gone are the done-to-death Swiss locales – the film has its heart set in Dilli – inaccessible characters, or narratives that defy logic [I’m looking at you Neal n’ Nikki, Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi & Dil Bole Haddipa!] – replaced instead by a film that might be small on budget, but is big on heart.

The Plot: Twenty-something Delhiites – the driven, no-nonsense Shruti [Anushka Sharma] and slacker Bittoo [Ranveer Singh in his debut] – both from a middle-class background, enter the business world together by creating a wedding planning enterprise [‘Shaadi Mubarak’], a venture which proves to be tumultuous: Shruti breaks her own ‘Jisse vyapaar karo, usse kabhi na pyaar karo’ [Don’t mix business with pleasure] rule – and in the midst of the glitz and glam of Delhi weddings, their friendship and business are both tested .. till the film reaches its staple happily-ever-after ending.

In a nutshell: It’s a coming-of-age story, Monsoon Wedding isshtyle.

And of course, you’ve seen or heard of similar themes in recent Bollywood flicks – unreciprocated love leading to ‘Oh-sh*t-I-love-her-and-how-convenient-the-film’s-just-about-to-end’ was seen most recently in I Hate Luv Storys – but what makes this film special is dialogue and presentation. Interwoven with the novel concept of a behind-the-scenes look-see at weddings, the romance works because the dialogues [Habib Faisal] do. The screenplay keeps it simple, and most importantly real. Shruti’s not your average size-zero heroine: fierce, independent, emotional, she’s a woman of substance, and Bittoo, with his Dilli-rooted witticisms – broken English et al, is your average head-scratching, purposeless mundaa turned Alpha male turned Roadside Romeo [product placement!]

Two ordinary protagonists – but never prosaic. It is that girl/boy-next-door persona that makes them so accessible to audiences. Casting newcomer Ranveer Singh and two-film [RNBDJ & Badmaash Company] old Anushka Sharma was a stroke of brilliance; spontaneous, unsophisticated, unorthodox – both actors deliver pitch-perfect performances, and their chemistry is, to borrow a trite phrase, electrifying. Ali Zafar [Tere Bin Laden] faces stiff competition at the Filmfares for best male debut from Bandra boy Ranveer Singh – twice in the same year you’re reminded of Ranbir Kapoor’s stellar work in SLB’s Saawariya.

Anushka’s performance is stuff of true grit: notice an [underplayed] emotional sequence in the second half where both speak candidly of what was a one-night-stand to one, something infinitely more concrete to the other.

Then there’s the presentation itself: the opening number [‘Tarkeebein’] wraps up the differing personas/lifestyles of both characters in a neat three minutes; something – ahem – most Bollywood films take up till intermission to accomplish. The pace is swift; consistently so. There’s little melodrama, lots of mauj-masti, the language is colloquial, and you really get a kick out of watching what goes on in planning a wedding. Yes, it channels the feel-good chick-flick lovers in all of us. And the music’s a winner: you’ll find yourself humming ‘Tarkeebein’ and ‘Ainvayi Ainvayi’ [the latter song and ‘Baari Barsi’ are sure to find their way in the mehndi-DJ’s playlist alongside the Munnis and the Sheilas out there] well after the movie’s finished.

Sure, the last 15 minutes or so tread screenplay-of-convenience territory [actually, the entire subplot to reunite the quarreling duo via loaded-fairy-godmother Mr Sidhwani and his daughter’s multi-crore Rajasthani wedding is bizarre], but at that point, you’re so drawn into the lives of Shruti and Bittoo, you’re ready to forgive [the fact that even though Shahrukh Khan doesn’t show up to shake a leg at said wedding, Bittoo & Shruti manage to engage rabid aunties with a big-scale Bollywood dance number of their own. I’m sorry what?] and forget.

Perhaps the greatest triumph of Band Baaja Baaraat is how it turns out to be the antithesis of what constitutes Bollywood: even in the midst of obligatory song-and-dance numbers, the predictability aspect [Will they get together in the end – wait, am I stupid], the motley gang of so-loyal-it-hurts friends, you relate to the wonderfully refreshing characters and revel in their journey – much as you did with Aditya and Geet in Imtiaz Ali’s wonderful Jab We Met.

At times it seems so non-filmi, you forget it’s fiction. And that’s something debutant director Maneesh Sharma should be proud of.

This over a Golmaal 3 or a No Problem any given Friday – Osman Khalid Butt

Rating – 3.75 out of 5

Cast and Production Credits

Year – 2010, Genre – Drama, Country – India, Language – Hindi, Producer – Aditya Chopra, Director – Maneesh Sharma, Music Director – Salim Merchant, Sulaiman Merchant, Cast - Anushka Sharma, Ranveer Singh

Break Ke Baad (2010)

We all know Bollywood gives us unrealistic expectations about men and Break Ke Baad makes those expectations rise to the sky. It’s a story about the ideal guy, Abhay (Imran Khan) who technically any girl wouldn’t leave no matter what happens. But here’s an exception; Aaliya (Deepika Padukone). Abhay and Aaliya are childhood friends and as they grow older together, they get into a relationship with each other. The two are shown to be complete opposites. Abhay has no goal in life whereas Aaliya is highly ambitious and aspires to be an actress. The story moves on when these two decide to give their relationship a break after Aaliya makes a decision to move to Australia to pursue her career.

However, since Abhay is the perfect guy, he follows her to Australia and makes her believe she loves him to the extent that she’s ready to leave everything for him after feeling nostalgic and lonely for a while. Clearly, the major flaw in the story is the switching on and off in their relationship, which hasn’t been portrayed convincingly either.

The film still works on some accounts though. And the reason is that you just can’t help falling in love with Abhay and Aaliya; Abhay because he is so tolerant, kind, wise, loyal and good in general and Aaliya because she is fun, crazy, bold, ambitious and determined. The actors have done a great job. Both Deepika and Imran look perfect for their respective roles. Deepika seems real in the crazy girl role who flies to a completely new territory to chase her dreams and follow her passions. Imran too is apt for the role of a patient man who isn’t afraid of commitment and has great confidence in his love.

Also, the concept is fresh considering Bollywood hadn’t yet explored the issue of space in relationships. However, the execution of this issue hasn’t been very unique in Break Ke Baad, which makes it look clichéd in parts and reminds the viewers of similar movies. Moreover, the name itself gives away the farm (a couple breaks up and gets together again because, guess what? It’s Bollywood and they have to end up together).

Halfway through, the movie becomes sluggish and it seems like it’s going nowhere but the witty banter between the protagonists does fill in the gaps to a certain extent. Scenes like the one where Deepika insists on calling herself Shah Rukh and oscillates between Gulati, Julati and Gelatto when it comes to referring to her boyfriend put a smile on the viewer’s face and make the movie interesting as a whole.

A major flaw in Break Ke Baad is that of locations. Half of the film should be in Australia but they haven’t shown any popular Australian locales that could prove that! Whoever thought that setting three quarters of the film in Australia, but actually shooting those scenes in Mauritius, was a good idea, deserves to be locked in a room and never allowed to come out and make films.

Today’s audience is very intelligent and directors should realize that. Especially when filmmakers like Karan Johar have made Bollywood films so international, nobody is going to be fooled by a couple of Aussie props and a few poorly dubbed ‘Australian’ extras.

The music is fresh and fun. Vishal Shekhar have done a great job and a few songs like ‘Dooriyan Hainn Zaroori’ and ‘Dhoop Ke Makan’, which are both beautiful and melodious songs, take the narrative forward. Debutant director, Danish Aslam has done a fairly good job but he hasn’t shown us anything that we haven’t seen in romantic comedies and light hearted films before.

But if we forget these intricacies for a while, Break Ke Baad is simply a movie which teaches you that love never fades away. And if two people are meant to be together they will be regardless of what happens or how many distances are between them. It also teaches that at times in life, distances bring people closer and if they don’t that means the two weren’t meant to be. So the next time you think a relationship is taking its toll on your life, try taking a break and as Aaliya puts it a break does not always mean a break up! – Hafsah Sarfraz

Rating – 3 out of 5

Cast and Production Credits

Year – 2010, Genre – Romance/Drama, Country – India, Language – Hindi, Producer –Kunal Kohli, Director – Danish Aslam, Music Director – Vishal Dadlani, Shekhar Ravjiani, Cast - Imran Khan, Deepika Padukone, Sharmila Tagore, Shahana Goswami, Yudishtir Urs, Navin Nischol, Lillete Dubey

Dabangg (2010)

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s official. Salman Khan is the new Rajnikanth. Move over, aged Robot, and take that flimsy toupee with you. If 2009’s superhero action-hero flick Wanted wasn’t enough, Salman Khan’s biceps returned to gravity-defying action avatar in Dabangg. Legions of Salman Khan fans must be sighing in relief as to the rustic Zandu Balm the film was [let’s face it, this is no Guzaarish], but those still reeling from a bad Wanted hangover must have avoided this film like the plague.

Well, here’s a thought: don’t. Proudly presenting: the top five reasons you should watch Dabangg.

1. The Plot, or every drama you’ve seen on Star Plus, the ‘70s edition:

Set in Uttar Pradesh, Dabangg tells the [tired?] tale of Chulbul Pandey aka ‘Bad-Ass Robin Hood’ [Salman Khan], a fearless but corrupt police officer with unorthodox working methods. [Crime, masala, dishum-dishum quota filled right there. Front-benchers, rejoice!] Chulbul has had a bitter childhood. [Oh, duh. I mean, oh, no.] His father passed away when he was very young, after which his mother [Dimple Kapadia] married Prajapati Pandey [Vinod Khanna]. Together, they had a son Makhanchan [Arbaaz Khan] whom pita parmeshwar seems to favour – [hello, step-brother, forever-anguished maa, evil stepfather, it’s the Mumbai noir version of Cinderella! And who doesn’t love Disney?]

Chulbul decides to take control of his destiny and detaches himself from his step-father and half-brother. His sole attachment is his mother. However, after his mother’s demise and an unsuccessful attempt to mend wounds, Chulbul breaks all ties with his step-father and half-brother. Enter Rajo [Sonakshi Sinha], with her unique perspective of life, who turns his life upside down. Chulbul starts to see life more positively and also gets sensitized to the value of a family. But his detractors, especially the dubious Cheddi Singh [Sonu Sood], have their own vested interests and emerge as spokes in the wheels, putting one brother against the other. Makhanchan ends up carrying out an act oblivious to the consequences.

When Makhanchan realizes he has been used, he turns to Chulbul. Will Chulbul take his extended hand? Will the brothers be able to thwart their detractors?’

Will you be able to count the many clichés in that synopsis? Barring the sheer ludicrousness of the plot, which makes 2010’s Vivek Oberoi starrer Prince – It’s Showtime feel like Schindler’s List, the action sequences are kind of brilliant in all their kitsch glory, the dialoguebaazi and dramaybaazi are flat out phenomenal [and unintentionally hilarious, but still], the pace is frenetic – and most importantly, the film never takes itself seriously [like the unfortunate Veer did].

2. Chuck Norris, whoops, I mean, Salman Khan:

Having watched this film, I can now safely make the following claims:
When Salman Khan looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Salman Khan and Salman Khan.

There is no such thing as Global Warming. It’s all Salman, baby.

The square root of Salman Khan is broken bones.

Salman Khan eats pain for breakfast.

Salman Khan has more testosterone than Lady Gaga.

When Salman Khan goes to sleep, he doesn’t count sheep. He eats them.

The Matrix Trilogy would’ve ended with the first one if only Keanu Reeves had said: ‘I know Salman Khan.’

Salman Khan registered his name as a deadly weapon.

Yoda’s mentor Salman Khan was.

Milk never expires for Salman Khan.

Salman Khan can kill two birds with no stone.

The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Salman Khan. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.

Salman Khan doesn’t wear a watch; he decides what time it is.

Salman can eat just one Lay’s potato chip.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Salman Khan has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

Salman Khan frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

Seriously, though. Not since the Amitabh Bachchan [of the ‘70s] has an actor been able to epitomize the angry-yet-stoic-young-man; Salman breathes fire into every dialogue the scriptwriter throws his way with gleeful abandon. This is Salman at his most unrestrained; shirt-ripping a la Hulk included in the package. He plays the masses like Mozart. Poor debutant Sonakshi [Shatrughan Sinha’s daughter]. She never really stood a chance in this film. Come to think of it, neither did the rest of the actors.

3. ‘Munni Badnaam’ – the Malaika Factor

Can you say item-number-of-the-year? Though Salman Khan going ghetto on the streets of UP with his real-life sister-in-law Malaika Arora: awkward much? This just in: Munni being threatened by ‘Sheila Ki Shakira-esque Jawani’ [Katrina Kaif in Tees Maar Khan], so watch Malaika strut it out in all her backless choli glory, preferably in HD – before Munni goes from badnaam to benaam.

Oh, and the rest of the score is visually enticing [not to mention, easy on the ears - which is more than I can say about the We Are Family - or The Elvis Presley Massacre soundtrack] as well. Picks: ‘Tere Mast Mast Do Nain’, ‘Hud Hud Dabangg’ and ‘Humka Peeni Hai’. But Munni = 2 kewl.

4. “Hum Yahan Ke Robin Hood Hain. Robin Hood Pandey”: The Dialogues

Sonakshi ne Salman se kaha: “Thapad se darr nahi lagta sahab – par pyaar se lagtaa hai” – the frontbencher throwback to “Kaanton ko murjhaane ka khauf nahi hota” [Mughal-e-Azam]?

“Kamini se yaad aaya….Pandey ji..apki biwi kaisi hai?” – Major LOL moment.

Salman [really, who else?]: “Hum tumri jaan mein itna ched karenge, itna ched karenge ke confuse ho jao gay – ke saans kahan se ley aur paade kahan se” – okay, gross, but classic.

“Police waale ko thokne ka anjaam pata hai kya? Ikkis [21] saal jail aur thukkai alag se… Aur ussi police waale ne agar tumhe thokka, toh promotion alag se aur bahaduri ka medal bhi.” – really sums up the scope and feel of the modern police force, doesn’t it?

Practice your seeti-bajaana-skills, folks. Every scene has a college-campus-quotable.

5. Umm, I’m sorry, do you need a fifth reason?

Action, masala, romanchuk scenes, comedy, isshstunts, melodrama: Dabangg has it all. You want a Bollywood fill for 2010, this movie will suffice. Be warned, though: Dabangg isn’t groundbreaking by any standards, nor will it change your life. Unless it does. In a nutshell: Go. Watch. Dabangg. Now. Who knows, you might be able to prevent the 2012 apocalypse, as predicted by the Mayan calendar – Osman Khalid Butt

Rating – 3.5 out of 5

Cast and Production Credits

Year – 2010, Genre – Action/Drama, Country – India, Language – Hindi, Producer –Arbaaz Khan, Malaika Arora, Dhilin Mehta, Director –Abhinav Kashyap, Music Director – Sajid-Wajid, Cast - Salman Khan, Sonu Sood, Arbaaz Khan, Sonakshi Sinha, Mahie Gill, Vinod Khanna, Dimple Kapadia, Om Puri, Anupam Kher, Tinu Anand, Mahesh Manjrekar, Amitosh Nagpal, Murli Sharma