Tere Bin Laden (2010)

Finally. After more than a month of hype, re: glowing reviews, Bollywood’s A-list joining the Twitter bandwagon to praise the film [yes, KJo's on my Twit-List], and abysmal torrent downloads ['HQ DVD rip' - not!], Tere Bin Laden makes its way to your local DVD shop.

It seems India’s just woken up to the concept of political satires, but given the critical and commercial success of both Tere Bin Laden and Sundance darling Peepli Live, India seems all set to give competition to, say, Wag The Dog or [dare I say it] Dr. Strangelove.

I’ll be honest: I had incredibly high expectations from the movie as I popped on the passable camera print on my DVD – and 90 minutes later, I have this to say: fans of the genre, rejoice! Not since David Zucker’s 1980 cult-classic Airplane! has a satire played out with such ferocious sophomoric glee. Mindless Akshay Kumar farce this is not [and thank God for that: after Chandni Chowk to China, Kambakkht Ishq, De Dana Dan and the recent horror-show Housefull, I was ready to write off Bollywood]; lampooning the world’s most infamous personality was always going to be an uphill task, but director Abhishek Sharma and his motley crew emerge triumphant with a satire that is subversive and yet features subtext [Osama-phobia, anyone?] galore.

The Plot, or Hum Sab [Bin Laden ki] Umeed Se Hain: Ali Hassan [Ali Zafar], an ambitious young news reporter from Pakistan and licensed Ullu Da Pattha, is desperate to migrate to the US in pursuit of the American dream. His repeated attempts to immigrate [with help from Jamal Bhai - head of immigration consultants 'Lashkar-e-Amreeka' - major LOL] are shot down as his visa is always rejected. Just when he thinks he’s going to be stuck at a dead-end job at ‘Danka TV’, reporting nonevents [case in point - Man at vegetable stall: 'Iss mooli ne to mere saare khwaab hi poore kar diye' / Ali: 'Kese?' / Man: 'Bass..kar diye'] he comes across a [woman-ogling, irreverent, kanjoos poultry farmer - poor Osama must be writhing in his grav- well, wherever he is] Osama bin Laden lookalike, Noora [Pradhuman Singh]. The reporter then hatches a scheme with unlikely [and quirky] allies: an aspiring stylist Zoya [Sugandha Garg], affable sidekick Gul [Nikhil Ratnaparkhi], a USA-bashing RJ, Qureishi [Rahul Singh], and office-temp Lateef [Chirag Vohra] who’s fluent in Arabic, to produce a fake Osama video and sell it to news channels as a breakthrough scoop. Unfortunately, there are serious [not My Name Is Khan or New York serious: think 'Operation Kick-Ass'] ramifications as the White House gets involved and dispatches a overzealous secret agent [Barry John and his coordinated carrot-munching cronies] on Ali’s trail.

The [extremely fast-paced] film pays homage to the Zucker-Abrahams-Zucker school of comedy right from the onset: the airport announcement(s) are reminiscent of Airplane!’s opening sequence; of course, with a desi tadka. The prelude, a laugh-out-loud deportation sequence, that segues into the opening credits [hello, wildly popular Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy track 'Ullu Da Pattha'!] sets the tone for the hilarious scenes that follow. And boy, do they.

Ali Zafar is to Tere Bin Laden what Ranbir Kapoor was to Saawariya: definitely the find of the season, the roguish superstar-in-the-making moves onscreen like a seasoned pro, with impeccable comedic timing to boot. The paidayshi glass-half-full critic in me waited for him to drop the ball/ham it up à la Govinda of yore, but his performance was consistent throughout.  Pradhuman Singh was another revelation: be it in Noora or faux-Osama avatar, the man brought on the laughs, and then some. Post Omi Vaidya [Silencer/Chatur - 3 Idiots], Bollywood is introduced to yet another firecracker of a performer. However, it isn’t fair to single out an actor: it’s the whole ensemble that works in the film’s favour. For example, Ali’s scenes with his TRP-hungry boss at Danka TV, Majeed, played by the pokerfaced-yet-priceless Piyush Mishra, are absolute gold: his character makes for a clever dig at the news industry; the politics, the power struggle. From Sugandha’s no-nonsense portrayal of Zoya [I've liked this girl since Jaane Tu..Ya Jaane Naa! - note Noora's wickedly 'suggestive' scenes with her], Rahul Singh as the ‘voice’ of Osama [after a wonderfully restrained performance in Madhur Bhandarkar's Jail, he's back with a bang]; heck, even to Majeed’s wife [your typical nagging housewife], everyone pitches in fine performances.

However, it’s writer-director Abhishek Sharma who’s the real hero of the enterprise; from slapstick to sardonic, audiences get the full monty, far as humour goes. Sample this sequence: Majeed ‘dealing’ with a Burqa-clad Gul over ‘Osama’s’ video: ‘Ab dikhao naa!’ / Gul: ‘Oye, bola na, maine sirf Burqa pehna hai, baqi cheezen wahi hain jo tumhare paas hain.’ / Majeed: ‘Array bhai jaan, maine kaha tape dikhao naa!’ Bludgeoning innuendo; crude even? Definitely, but then, it works so beautifully because no actor goes over-the-top in their delivery.

My favorite sequence in the film, however, has got to be secret agent Ted describing the wacky ‘Operation Kick-Ass’ and the details of their Osama-hunt; the series of comic-book style images storyboarding their each move is priceless. A close second, though, is the entire penultimate sequence at the Danka TV studio – think hand-grenade, think martyred murgha, think chase sequence a la Andaaz Apna Apna, think ‘Habibi George Bush – Tuaadi Maa Di -’; its madcap mayhem through and through.

The only downer was that despite some wonderful production design [recreating Karachi in Hyderabad sets], almost all male characters [read: extras] are, rather stereotypically, shown with white prayer-hats on their heads – but at least India’s moved on from the Veer-Zaara representation of Pakistanis [seriously, who says 'Adaab' as a form of greeting - it's Pakistan, not a Devdas set!] Oh, and umm, regarding Barry John’s accent, I’ll just let The Hollywood Reporter do the talking: “..a transplanted Brit with a garbled American accent so atrocious that one wonders if this is India’s revenge for decades of bad American characterizations of South Asians.”

There’s always going to be the ‘high-brow’ critics that’ll dismiss the film as a prolonged public-access comedy sketch, but then, the film is unabashedly mainstream; with an inventive script, politically incorrect yet riotous humor, and entertainment value aplenty, the film’s global terrorism and paranoia, the lighter side of. However, I’ll let you be the judge.
As for me, I’m a certified ‘Ullu Da Pattha.’ – Osman Khalid Butt

Cast and Production Credits

Year – 2010, Genre – Comedy, Country – India, Language – Hindi, Producer – Pooja Shetty Deora, Aarti Shetty, Director – Abhishek Sharma, Music Director – Shankar Mahadevan, Ehsaan Noorani, Loy Mendonsa, Dhruv Dhalla, Cast - Ali Zafar, Barry John, Chirag Vohra, Nikhil Ratnaparkhi, Piyush Mishra, Rahul Singh, Seema Bhargava, Sugandha Garg, Pradhuman Singh, Chinmay Mandlekar

I Hate Luv Storys (2010)

I Hate Luv Storys is the latest ideal candy floss offering for the young generation with scenes thrown in from Bollywood classics like Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayen Gay, Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, Dil Chahta Hai, Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi and the likes. The plot of the film is simple and clichéd; Imran Khan as Jay [mind you it's pronounced J not Jai and is quite the "it" name in Bollywood these days; remember Hrithik in Kites] is a playboy who does not believe in love and sappy love stories but is working as a set designer with one of the biggest filmmakers of Indian cinema, Veer Kapoor. He is an extremely messed up and laid back man, who comes to work late, drinks before work and trashes women. Loyalty is just not his cup of tea.

On the other hand, Simran [Sonam Kapoor] is a hopeless romantic who thinks her own life is no less than a perfect love story. She is organized, disciplined, and extremely professional and in short, the exact opposite of Jay. With an ideal job and a perfect fiancé, Raj Dholakia [see, the name's filmy too] played by Sameer Dattani she has no idea how her life’s going to change when she starts working with Jay! As predictable as it might sound, conflicts occur between the two but eventually they become friends and Simran falls in love with Mr Wrong [Jay] forgetting about her perfect Mr Right. Jay rejects her giving her no option but to return back to Mr Right.

Clearly the plot has been done way too many times in the Indian cinema; the film is full of clichés and you experience the feeling of déjà vu several times but there’s something in the film that makes the audiences love it. The actors have done a superb job. Imran Khan fits the role ideally and plays it even more perfectly with such apparent ease that it makes his acting look very natural. However, he still needs to learn how to cry, or act so! His emotions and body language are commendable. Imran’s facial expressions added a lot of life to his acting and a fun element to the character.

Sonam plays her age and that’s one of the reasons she seems apt for the role. She has improved greatly if you compare her acting in I Hate Luv Storys with her previous roles. She also looks beautiful and very stylish throughout the film. Imran and Sonam absolutely complement each other and can be a promising jori for future Bollywood movies.

The costumes are done by Manish Malhotra and Sonam’s dresses are beautiful. She has carried off those clothes very well too. The contemporary stylish girl avatar really suits her. Various characters wear tees with witty statements and graffiti which are really unique, funky and make you laugh. Such small things show how much effort has been put into a film.

Kevin Dave who plays the role of Imran’s best friend is hilarious. Sameer Dattani delivers his dialogues in an extremely monotonous tone but then his role was of a boring boyfriend so we can’t really criticize him. Aamir Ali who is performing the role of the actor is another worthy mention and Bruna Abdullah is great eye candy in the film.

Even though the content is not fresh at all, the dialogues and one-liners are still witty and sarcastic. There’s so much fun in the film that you will spend half your time laughing without bothering about where the story is going. However, the first half of the movie is slow in terms of the plot; a little more editing would have made it better. Debutant director Punit Malhotra’s (in case you are wondering, yes he is related to Manish Malhotra) writing could have been much better considering the amount of resources he had. Throughout the film, he talks about Bollywood’s clichéd love stories but then makes another himself. Maybe he could learn doing parodies while giving tribute to Bollywood from Farah Khan as she did in Om Shanti Om. Speaking of Farah Khan, she was terribly missed during the dance on the title track. The song was perfect, the kind that makes you want to tap your feet as soon as it is played but justice wasn’t done to its choreography at all! Or maybe it’s just that pappu (really) can’t dance!

I Hate Luv Storys also teaches that at times one needs to let go and have fun in life and that perfect does not always mean happy! It teaches that Mr. Right will not necessarily bring happiness to your life and at times happiness and fun is with Mr. Wrong. [I so hope mum's not reading this].

Despite the lack of a strong story, the crowd at the cinema cheered and clapped at a number of scenes. There’s no denying that the target audience of teens and young adults will surely enjoy it – Hafsah Sarfraz

Cast and Production Credits

Year – 2010, Genre – Comedy/Drama, Country – India, Language – Hindi, Producer – Karan Johar, Hiroo Yash Johar, Ronnie Screwvala, Director – Punit Malhotra, Music Director – Vishal Dadlani, Shekhar Ravjiani, Cast - Imran Khan, Sonam Kapoor, Sammir Dattani, Sameer Soni, Kavin Dave, Khusboo Shroff, Bruna Abdullah, Pooja Ghai, Ketaki Dave, Anju Mahendru, Shirish Sharma, Aamir Ali

Badmaash Company (2010)

What do the box office results say about the Indian audience? When movies such as Badmaash Company fare well at the box office, and attract large audiences, what can one conclude about their taste in films?

Don’t get me wrong, the trailers were good enough to attract anyone easily: foreign location, beautiful babe, friends having a good time – that’s an easy enough formula to adhere to if the filmmakers want the movie to be watched by a lot of people.

Therefore the box office doesn’t really represent how good or bad the movie actually is; it only represents the amount of people that actually make their way to the cinemas to watch it.

That can be the only logical explanation, as one cannot understand why Badmaash Company would do so well otherwise. The movie opened to a good start, and earned fairly well. However the movie itself was not worth all the brouhaha.

The movie is about four friends who want to make it big. Well, honestly, it’s about one person who wants to make it big and gets help from his three friends. Therefore they con their way into success, where they’re living the high life. Eventually, karma hits them, and they fall with the same speed and impact, as when they were soaring high. Added with a bunch of songs shot in clubs and on the beach, some sizzling scenes between the two leads and the typical good-always-triumphs-over-bad ending, you have Badmaash Company in a nutshell.

However, the elements that were supposed to work for the movie are the reason why the movie failed. The plot could have worked, had everything else not been so forcefully added to the plate.

For instance, the unnecessary vulgarity, the crude dialogues, the lavish spending sprees – all seemed really fake and unnatural. They show Shahid as the mastermind behind all their cons, and the one determined to make it big one day and he aids the gang to their riches. But the irritating part was that after every con they pulled, they would show a scene (or a song) where they all would spend all their money on clothes and gambling and other useless things, and it all seemed so forced. Bollywood movies need to stop doing the overly glamourous thing when it isn’t looking right.

The second element which failed was the spice that was being forcefully making its way through onto the screen with the help of Anushka Sharma: the lady is fierce and strong, is an aspiring model, barely wears any clothes – basically everything that makes a woman sexy. Even then, her dialogues most of the times seemed trashy and totally unnecessary.

The second half of the movie sees a dramatic change in Shahid, when he takes the entire posse to Manhattan, and becomes so arrogant and conceited that he calls himself god at one point. What exactly was that about? He is a man with morals in the start, and after 60 minutes, we see him calling himself god, where the rest of the gang actually starts clapping and hooting afterwards!

The ending was based on a ridiculous scheme they come up with, which is absolutely honest, but clever. Therefore, he attempts to make up for all the wrong he has done by doing good. The earlier cons were actually believable, but the last final scheme which was supposed to be the biggest plan did not even make sense. So are they saying that big corporations in America are that stupid that they actually fell for the idiocy?

The most amusing part is that the movie was supposed to be a comedy, but there wasn’t a single joke that could have made anyone even smile if nothing else.

The magic of Yash Raj Films seems to be fading, as it continues to produce one failed production after another. Unfortunately, you can’t even watch these movies with your families anymore. Badmaash Company (if it absolutely must be watched out of curiosity) must not be viewed with children or young adults, or even parents for that matter. Otherwise be prepared to face some embarrassment, and quicken your reflexes to be able to quickly grab the remote control, and forward the scenes before harming anyone’s childhood – Manal Faheem Khan

Cast and Production Credits

Year – 2010, Genre – Comedy, Country – India, Language – Hindi, Producer – Aditya Chopra, Director – Parmeet Sethi, Music Director – Pritam Chakraborty, Cast - Shahid Kapoor, Anushka Sharma, Meiyang Chang, Vir Das, Anupam Kher, Kiran Juneja, Pawan Malhotra, Jameel Khan